It’s your Friday morning love note.
This post is for all the perfectionists out there. I have a confession to make. I am a recovering perfectionist. Perfectionism is a trait than many people with anxiety have.
Perfectionism means you set the bar pretty high and you’ll do whatever it takes to try to make things perfect. And if you can’t do something “perfectly” then you don’t want to begin at all. If you’ve ever said “I just want it to be perfect” or “I like things to be perfect”, you may be a perfectionist.
This may be trying to have the perfect meal, perfect project or perfect costume for your child. It may be trying to plan the perfect night out with friends, having a perfect house or perfecting a look.
My perfectionism mostly came up in my education/career. I needed to get an A+ on papers and exams, made deans lists each year in university, received many scholarships and obtain contracts as a mental health consultant.
I put in a significant amount of time and energy into all things school and career related. Because as all perfectionists know, there is always more than can be done, if you just put more time and energy into it. This leads to the “cost of perfectionism”.
The cost is often your health. I’m not even kidding when I say that some people are so consumed with making things perfect that they don’t get enough sleep, food, exercise and at times they don’t even take washroom breaks!!
When it comes to self-care, perfectionism can prevent us from doing any at all. We feel that if we can’t do a full yoga class, a 5k run, a 60 minute workout or a 30 minute relaxation practice, we don’t do any at all.
This sets up for trouble…. too much time spent on tasks + a tendency to procrastinate self-care = health problems, which can be either physical or mental/emotional.
But have no fear….here are two solutions for you:
1) Use the 80% rule. Here’s a little secret, people who are perfectionists put so much effort into things that even if you put 80% effort into something, it’s likely more than a non-perfectionists would do. It’s still going to be good.
So aim for 80% of what you can do and then walk away from the project/task.
This will be scary at first be then it will unbelievable liberating!
2) Flexi-Self-Care is my term for sprinkling in self-care throughout your day, whether it’s 60 seconds or 5 minutes or 20 minutes. It all adds up.
This can be deep breathing at traffic lights or stretching throughout the day. Taking the stairs, walking around the block or drinking more water.
Every piece of self-care you do will help you do even more self-care, which improves your wellbeing. There you have it, between the 80% rule and flexi-self-care, you’re on your way to a whole lotta wellness.
You can even use my secret trick to mastering the 80% rule.
Get a post it note and write down “just because I can, doesn’t mean I should” and keep it with you.
Read it each time you want to say “yes” to something or whenever you find yourself thinking, “just one more thing to make it perfect”.
Alright…. here’s to embracing imperfections.
You’ll be perfect at it ;)
Cheers,
Char