I first learned about Compassion Fatigue and Vicarious Trauma in 2008. By the time I had heard about it I was near burnout and wanting to leave the helping profession – this saddened me because I was just finishing up my fifth year of clinical social work and already….I was done. But then I heard about CF and VT and suddenly I had a framework for what I was experiencing and I now had information about strategies I could start to use to get myself back on track and manage as a Clinical Social Worker without burning out.
This was four years ago now and I am just now finally at a place where I have optimal balance in my life. I remember that when I first learned about it I was so mentally, emotionally and physically exhausted that it was really hard to start making changes. But I did, I started with the basic foundations of self-care (eating healthy foods, sleeping regularly and exercising regularly). Needless to say I struggled with this everyday in the beginning.
Over time I sought out other supports, a health coach made a huge difference in the type of foods I ate and my overall eating habits. She also helped me to open up to many other ways of getting exercise and bringing joy back into my life – including bike riding which I hadn’t done in years. Now I do it often and now that I’m in Ottawa I get the pleasure of riding on Bike Sundays along the canal. I also connected with an amazing Naturopathic doctor who helped me learn how different foods were affecting me (who knew I was allergic to cow dairy and eggs). By eliminating these I saw DRASTIC changes in my health for the better!
With this increase of energy I was now able to spend more time focusing on healthy cooking (if I fail to plan, I plan to fail). Cooking healthy foods and preparing them for a few days in advance was vital for me. I also had more energy to increase my time spent on physical exercise as well as implementing meditation and mindfulness practices.
At this point I was still really struggling with saying “no” to people and work. I was doing contract work that required a lot of travel and this was my next main barrier to getting healthy. Over year two and three I was able to make changes so that my travel was reduced significantly. I cut back, then I cut back some more… this was only the beginning. I needed to continuously re-evaluate what I had on my plate and keep scaling back. In addition, I needed to start setting boundaries with family and friends in terms of what I would commit to and what I needed to say “no” to. This was scary and hard at first, but I have fabulous supports who were more than happy to support me and rarely did anyone get upset when I said “no” (and when it did happen it taught me a lot about that relationship – which is no longer a relationship).
I spent a tremendous amount of time reflecting (walking is my best time for reflection), journalling and identifying what was important to me. My goals became based on my values (family/friends, health, career I feel supported in) and this made it easier to make decisions. I sought supports in areas I felt I needed help in and overtime small changes lead to significant results (“Small Changes Lead to Significant Results” was a post-it I had on my computer for over two years!).
I am now living in a city I love, working in an organization I am supported in, living my passion of providing Compassion Fatigue support and spending time with family and friends on a regular basis. Today I noticed, for the first time ever, I have completed all of my chores (boring), all of my self-care activities (cooking healthy foods, gym/yoga) and I STILL have time left over for whatever I would like to do. To me this is the ultimate achievement and something I will strive to maintain, because I know that it has taken me years to get here and that it can be taken away if I start to weaken my boundaries or slack on my self-care.
Thank you so much for being part of my journey and I hope that you will continue to connect with me as I, and you, make self-care a priority.
I’d love to hear where you are at in your self-care journey – do you have it down pat or are you just starting out? What has been most helpful for you in making self-care a priority? Please comment below