I struggle with it too. All. The. Time. The cost of caring.
I’m about to get a little personal here.
It’s almost summer, a time for rest, relaxation, connection, rejuvenation and heat! I spend a lot of time with people who are in the helping profession (counselors, social workers, clinical supervisors, medical & alternative health care providers, children’s aid workers, etc.) and what I am seeing is sad and scary.
I am seeing fatigue, overwhelm, irritability, isolation, physical health problems, mental health problems, relationship problems and more.
It breaks my heart because these are all people with the biggest hearts in the world, helping the people in our society who have been dealt experiences of pain, loss, trauma and the misfortune of not having the resources to be safe and healthy.
So it prompts the question I ask myself on a daily basis, “How much can I invest in my health and wellbeing?”
I know that as a helping professional in Addiction and Mental Health that most of the people I work with have a history of trauma, mostly complex trauma. Click here for an article on how to recognize complex trauma – I took a workshop by the trauma expert referenced – so great.
I am so honored that they allow me to be a part of their healing journey, and I know I have some really good skills that can help them. But I also know the cost it has on me – body, mind, heart and spirit.
When we spend much of our time empathizing with and supporting people with complex needs, we are using much of our own emotional, physical, mental and spiritual energy to do so. And when we use this up during the course of our day, we need to replenish it.
But it takes time and energy and our own healing skills to replenish. And it can take a lot of time, energy and skills – depending on your clientele.
Personally, to stay healthy while doing this work, I require the following:
· Massages (every three weeks – two would be preferable),
· acupuncture,
· yoga,
· meditation,
· access to a gym for weights,
· vitamins and supplements,
· organic foods,
· clinical supervision,
· peer group support,
· counseling,
· ongoing education about staying safe from vicarious trauma,
· reiki,
· time in nature,
· ongoing professional development,
· And of course the amazing community of family and friends that I have.
Now lets get straight… I am a Social Worker, with a Social Worker’s salary and as you all know, this does not provide hundreds of extra dollars per month for self-care and support. So I prioritize and look for cost effective support.
It also takes significant time for these practices (the amount of time I spend preparing healthy food for the week is a bit ridiculous).
Fortunately for me, my passion is to focus on the health and safety of helping professionals. I am also aware that no one else on this earth is going to take care of my body and health – so it’s up to me to do so.
I choose to place a strong focus on self-care and I choose to keep speaking about the occupational hazards of vicarious trauma at work, because these are extremely important to me. Five years ago I didn’t have the personal awareness or the education and skills to do this…. and I suffered for it.
It can be difficult for helpers to ask for care and nourishment. It can feel shameful to talk about your problems, when clearly the people you work with have so much more pain and suffering. It can be scary to talk about compassion fatigue if you work in a culture that thinks it’s bulls**t.
I want you to know that you are not alone. As a compassion fatigue specialist, I work with people everyday who are keeping silent about the cost of caring. I am also starting to see a trend in people who are recognizing it and who are embracing a safety informed self-care practice – and this makes me so happy!
What are your biggest struggles in talking about the cost of caring?
How do you invest in yourself? How do you show your body, mind, heart and soul that it’s valuable and deserves care?
Please let me know in the comments so we can learn from each other.
If you know other helpers who may be struggling with this, send it to them on twitter or post it on facebook – let’s get the conversation going. No Shame!