I often meet people who talk about feeling anxious in various situations. Some people only feel anxiety in stressful situations like speaking in front of a large group. Other people feel social anxiety and get anxious when meeting someone new or when being in a large group. Another group of people only get anxious in certain situations like getting on an airplane (someday I’ll tell you about the extreme fear of flying I used to have!). And yet another group of people feel anxious all day, to varying degrees.
To learn more about anxiety disorders you can click here. To take an anxiety assessment you can click here.
When I talk to people about anxiety our conversations usually go something like this:
Them, “I don’t really want to try that, there will be a big crowd and I get nervous in crowds.”
Me, “What happens when you’re in a crowd?”
Them, “I don’t know, I start to get shaky and a little sweaty. I feel nervous, trapped and I don’t know what to say”.
Me, “Do you notice if your heart starts to race or your have a hard time breathing normally?”
Them, “I do!”
Me, “Oh, that’s social anxiety – you can absolutely learn skills to control that you so don’t get so nervous in those situations.”
Them, “Are you serious? I didn’t think there was anything I could do about it!”
And then of course I talk about how great cognitive behavioral therapy is and how with practice people can learn how to control the physical aspects of anxiety (rapid heart rate, sweating, nausea, feeling dizzy, difficulty breathing) and the cognitive aspects of anxiety (rapid thoughts of worst case scenario, scattered thinking). When people hear this and decide they want help to learn these skills I get so happy – another person kicking anxiety to the curb!
For most people anxiety is something that is not really necessary. It limits your life and overtime can cause you to be very isolated. Having said that, there are some situations where people have such high anxiety that they may need to work with a medical doctor and look into medications as well. Research shows that medication with Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for anxiety has the best long-term results in these cases.
Here is a general run down of how Cognitive Behavioral Therapy will work for anxiety. You will work with a therapist to start to break down exactly what you are thinking in the situations where you are feeling anxious. People with anxiety have the ability to think very quickly and to think with a very vivid imagination. This leads to thinking about awful, worse case scenarios that could – but rarely ever do – happen. These thoughts impact our body and our nervous system takes off in the stress response – rapid heart rate, shallow breathing or cold/tingly hands. All of this usually takes place very quickly without people being aware of it or making the connection.
Once you work with your therapist to explore what thoughts you are having when you start to notice you are anxious, the next step will be to find a way to physiologically calm your nervous system down so that you can rationally work through the thoughts you are having. Various relaxation techniques can be applied for this step.
After calming your body down you will use strategies to challenge the distorted (anxious) thoughts that you are having. You will learn how to come up with more realistic rational thoughts that prove to be much less stress inducing. This is how you interrupt the anxiety cycle.
Over time you will get really good at noticing the types of distorted thinking patterns you tend to engage in and you will stop them very early on – this will stop you from getting to higher levels of anxiety. It is a beautiful thing to watch someone learn these skills and reduce their anxiety. It usually leads to a more active and fulfilling lifestyle, as people are no longer restricted by fear of feeling anxious.
If any of the above sounds familiar to you and you want to learn skills to stop the anxiety cycle, then I highly recommend connecting with a Cognitive Behavioral Therapist. Keep in mind that not all therapists will work like I do, so what I have written here might be a bit different from what you experience. If you’re interested in working with me through Online Counseling, I offer free 15-minute Skype consultations to see if my services would be a good fit.
Anxiety is not necessary. Anxiety is excitement without breath. Learn the skills. Change your life.
If you’ve learned to overcome anxiety, I’d love to hear your story. Please comment below.
Cheers,
Charlene