As caregivers we are naturally people who give of ourselves to others. This likely began when we were children – we took care of siblings, pets, friends, and sometimes parents. Much of our identity is tied up in our various caregiving roles. Sometimes people are appreciative of our care and other times they are not – yet we still do it anyway. But helpers have rights!
The Compassion Fatigue Awareness Project is a great website with many valuable tools for helping professionals and caregivers. You can download the following Caregiver’s Bill of Rights there.
The Caregiver’s Bill of Rights
As a caregiver I have the right…
… to be respected for the work I choose to do.
… to take pride in my work and know that I am making a difference.
… to garner appreciation and validation for the care I give others.
… to receive adequate pay for my job as a professional caregiver.
… to discern my personal boundaries and have others respect my choices.
… to seek assistance from others, if and when it is necessary.
… to take time off to re-energize myself.
… to socialize, maintain my interests, and sustain a balanced lifestyle.
… to my own feelings, including negative emotions such as anger, sadness and frustration.
… to express my thoughts and feelings to appropriate people at appropriate times.
… to convey hope to those in my care.
… to believe those in my care will prosper in mind, body and spirit as a result of my caregiving.
I try on a daily basis to live these rights, as I know they will make me a better person and a better helper. Out of all of them I struggle the most with “… to seek assistance from others, if and when it is necessary”. I think this is a common struggle for helpers. We don’t think twice about helping others, whether it is with time, energy, money, knowledge, support and so on, yet, when it’s time for someone to give back, it just isn’t as easy to accept…… at least not for me. For most of my life I have been aware of the uncomfortable feeling that comes up when someone offers help, but I have only been challenging it for the past couple of years – and I still have a long way to go!
Something that helps me be okay (or try to be okay with being on the receiving end) is what it does for the other person. Let me explain… I know how great it feels to be a giver, to be someone who helps other people. My self-worth is not dependent on this role, but I do enjoy the feeling of knowing that the people I work with, and the people I support personally, do benefit from my work/support. So why should I take this feeling away from people in my life because I’m uncomfortable for a few moments? My sister would argue that helping me paint/renovate did not bring her any pleasure and has asked me to stop inviting her to “yard cleaning parties” on more than one occasion….. but I know that deep down she gets a little something from it – or we wouldn’t have the great laughs we do while doing it.
I know that by seeking assistance and allowing others to help me when I need it will only add to my overall health and balance and this is the reason that I continue to be aware of my inner thoughts, so I can challenge them and sit back and appreciate….. at least until the next time I am off to help someone.
Do you struggle with any of the Caregiver’s Bill of Rights? If so, how do you challenge these struggles? Let me know in the comments below!